Readers note: I started this blog a year ago….the latter half I have just added.
I am at a crossroads…..I’m feeling the fear….I feel like I’m standing at a cliffs edge preparing to jump. Will there be a turbulent sea below me or warm calm soothing waters?
I’ve been listening to/hearing an awful lot about fear recently. There is a school of thought that fear is felt when we are on the edge of something great. We feel it because we are moving towards spiritual evolution. Another is that fear is responsible for holding us back. Is it one or the other? Or both? Do we listen to our fear as intuition/gut instinct…or do we say…hey ego I know what your trying to do but I’m going to jump into the abyss anyway!
I can’t leave my job/relationship/city I’ll might fail. Bad things could happen. We even conjure scinarios in our mind of possible outcomes. Ways things can go totally tits up. I have been fearless in my life. I have travelled many times. I have changed careers from a job I couldn’t stand to one I love. I have lived in various city’s and town
s both in the UK and abroad. And yet….for some reason. I am wracked with complete and paralysing fear. If I make the wrong move now…EVERYTHING COULD F**K RIGHT UP.
And yet…what is the worst that can happen? We try, we fail, we pick ourselves up having learnt even more about ourselves and what we want…and we try again.
My little mantra of 2014 (after a challenging 2013) is ‘we never learn from getting what we want’ (I don’t think I coined it but I don’t remember who did). I really do believe this to be true (perhaps the ‘never’ part is a bit strong) but nonetheless I really do feel that I have grown the most through challenge and adversity. These moments in our lives force us to take stock…take refuge in spiritual practices such as yoga and meditation. Get down and dirty because we have nothing left to loose.
The latter half…..
Im starting to think we/I just take life way to seriously! Perhaps if we played life like a game? trying stuff on for size….if we like it we keep it if not no big deal. In reality this is what we do anyway….we just pretend that this is ‘THE THING’….THE relationship….THE job….THE home. When we take a look back though, theres not alot that sticks around, aside from a few friends, some family. But even they are not permanant…we will all make the ‘big’ move at some point.
‘You can’t get it wrong and you will never get it done’ Abraham Hicks
The interesting thing about this little blog I started writing nearly a year ago is that I don’t even really remember what I was so ‘wracked with fear’ about. Things all seem to be pretty good this end. So is fear necessary for evolution or just fearful thoughts we keep thinking which hold us back? I sometimes feel as much fear about where I’m going to get my morning coffee (I’m a bit of a coffee snob) as where to live and what I should do to make a difference in the world.
I really love this speech by Jim Carrey…..
Anyhoo……happy jumping and do leave your comments below.